Some experts argue you should never send texts to your ex…period. Others argue text messages are one of the most intimate, private, and personal forms of communication we have available today, and they can do everything from healing old wounds to increasing passion, romance, and desire. When it comes to sexual texts and turning your ex on with text messages, the debate gets even hotter.

Sex is a big part of relationships and creating sexual tension and feelings of arousal in your ex is entirely possible with text messages. People say things through text messages they would never say face to face. People also tend to respond to texts in a way they would never respond if you said the same thing to them directly.

When done correctly, you can use text messages to push past your ex’s rational mind and connect with them on a much more primal level. You can get your ex excited. And as Michael Fiore points out in his ebook, Text Your Ex Back, “It’s a simple fact of life that people do NOT think rationally when they’re ‘excited’.”

Now before you get too excited thinking about the possibilities, sending sexual texts to your ex needs to be performed with caution. This isn’t stuff you want to just send your ex immediately following a breakup. That’s a good way to end up right back in the doghouse.

These types of texts come into play much later once you’ve created a positive rapport again and are on friendly terms. Only then should you attempt to turn your ex on through texts and get them craving to reconnect with you on a sensual and sexual level.

You should also approach these texts differently depending on if you’re a man or a woman. If you’re a woman trying to win back your man, then you want to use sexual texts to tease and arouse your man without going “all the way” through texts or otherwise. Let him be part of “the chase” as this will keep him interested and wanting more of you.

If you’re a man trying to win back your woman, then you need to start slow and progress from there. You’ll want to use very detailed and descriptive language to create anticipation by first turning on your ex’s mind.

Unlike men who are largely visual creatures, women tend to respond to stories and language. Appealing to her mind is the way to get her body to follow.